Scones Gone Wrong
My phone has a lot of photos of vegetarian food from the past six or seven weeks. I make the food, I snap the pictures for the blog, and then I think, "meh." I have been unmotivated to actually post much.
But today, a great old friend suggested--unprompted!--that maybe someone out there needs my posts, when so many of us are spending extra time in the kitchen, plus the temptation is there to let our concern about the environment slide, given all our other worries.
(And some people never had that concern in the first place. Did you see the infuriating, dismaying news that the Trump Administration has put meat industry workers at risk for COVID-19 by ordering that those plants stay open? Could they not instead have considered how to promote more sustainable, plant-based diets? That is a lose-lose policy, President Trump, hurting both people and the environment.)
Even if no one does really need my attempts at inspiration, "meh" is not what I want to embody, even in the most dire mitigating circumstances like these Dark Times.
So let me tell you about all the ways I screwed up scones! I blame The Great British Baking Show. I've never made a scone before, so after being motivated by the Season 3 contestants, I looked up recipes in "Joy of Cooking" and my bible, Bittman's "How to Cook Everything." I was seeking a basic recipe.
But I could hear Paul Hollywood's and Mary Berry's voices in my head. "We really want to see you going above and beyond," Mary said. "Creative flavors, an eye-catching presentation, and a technically perfect bake," Paul added.
And then I found a recipe for Chocolate-Orange-Pecan Scones, and I thought, how hard can it be? You can see where this is going.
Truly, it's not a hard recipe. It's actually only hard when you, say, neglect to add the egg, so you end up overworking your dough by throwing it in at the end. (Paul, dismissively: "Your dough's overworked.") At that point you wipe the sweat from your brow and acknowledge that the texture will be compromised, but you pat yourself on the back for saving your scones from disaster.
Then you check the recipe for how long to bake it. You note the phrase "until golden and risen." And you realize that the only thing that's going to rise is your angst, because by gosh, you have also neglected to add baking powder. (Paul, damningly: "You've forgotten your bicarbonate.")
Sigh. There was no coming back from that one. I would not be Star Baker this week. Still, with nothing to lose, I threw the darn things in the oven anyway, and they emerged like odd cookies. I will say this, though: they were really delicious odd cookies. (Mary, warmly: "The flavors are scrummy.") So I'll try my hand at the scones again sometime.
In between episodes of overconsuming recreational sugar lately, I've been returning to old favorite vegetarian entree recipes. Lunch today was Broccoli Cheddar Twice-Baked Potatoes, and dinner was mushroom pizza made with Cauliflower Pizza Crust (also pictured at the top of this post). I don't believe I've ever screwed up either of those recipes, and that's really saying something. Give them a try!
But today, a great old friend suggested--unprompted!--that maybe someone out there needs my posts, when so many of us are spending extra time in the kitchen, plus the temptation is there to let our concern about the environment slide, given all our other worries.
(And some people never had that concern in the first place. Did you see the infuriating, dismaying news that the Trump Administration has put meat industry workers at risk for COVID-19 by ordering that those plants stay open? Could they not instead have considered how to promote more sustainable, plant-based diets? That is a lose-lose policy, President Trump, hurting both people and the environment.)
Even if no one does really need my attempts at inspiration, "meh" is not what I want to embody, even in the most dire mitigating circumstances like these Dark Times.
 |
| Did you miss me? |
So let me tell you about all the ways I screwed up scones! I blame The Great British Baking Show. I've never made a scone before, so after being motivated by the Season 3 contestants, I looked up recipes in "Joy of Cooking" and my bible, Bittman's "How to Cook Everything." I was seeking a basic recipe.
But I could hear Paul Hollywood's and Mary Berry's voices in my head. "We really want to see you going above and beyond," Mary said. "Creative flavors, an eye-catching presentation, and a technically perfect bake," Paul added.
And then I found a recipe for Chocolate-Orange-Pecan Scones, and I thought, how hard can it be? You can see where this is going.
 |
| Just look at the hopefulness of this picture: neatly arranged ingredients, perky tulips! |
Truly, it's not a hard recipe. It's actually only hard when you, say, neglect to add the egg, so you end up overworking your dough by throwing it in at the end. (Paul, dismissively: "Your dough's overworked.") At that point you wipe the sweat from your brow and acknowledge that the texture will be compromised, but you pat yourself on the back for saving your scones from disaster.
Then you check the recipe for how long to bake it. You note the phrase "until golden and risen." And you realize that the only thing that's going to rise is your angst, because by gosh, you have also neglected to add baking powder. (Paul, damningly: "You've forgotten your bicarbonate.")
Sigh. There was no coming back from that one. I would not be Star Baker this week. Still, with nothing to lose, I threw the darn things in the oven anyway, and they emerged like odd cookies. I will say this, though: they were really delicious odd cookies. (Mary, warmly: "The flavors are scrummy.") So I'll try my hand at the scones again sometime.
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| Working the butter into the dry ingredients |
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| The decidedly un-scone-like final product. And now the same tulips just look sad. |
In between episodes of overconsuming recreational sugar lately, I've been returning to old favorite vegetarian entree recipes. Lunch today was Broccoli Cheddar Twice-Baked Potatoes, and dinner was mushroom pizza made with Cauliflower Pizza Crust (also pictured at the top of this post). I don't believe I've ever screwed up either of those recipes, and that's really saying something. Give them a try!
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